After I had my daughter who is 9 now, I had severe post-partum anxiety. I had ridiculous thoughts, like when I was driving with her as an infant in the backseat, I'd have crazy thoughts of the car doors just flying open and she went falling out, or fear of rolling down a window because a pencil could fly in and at her face, (yes, I know now how ridiculous that may seem but like I said, I had severe post-partum anxiety). To the point where for almost a year I didn't go anywhere with her unless I absolutely had to. It got so bad I knew I had to do something about it. I went to my Dr. in search of some type of support group, but I ended up with a prescription for some anti-depressant pills instead which I never filled. I had been on those years before and did not want to go back on, I wanted to try a more natural way, especially since I was breastfeeding. So I did some research and did these things that were hard at first but became easier and paid off:
1- Positive affirmations. Basically Self affirmations are things you tell yourself, either out loud or in your head, to try and shift your mindset to a more positive one. Affirmations can help shift your brain to look for things that move you in the direction of what you want. Kind of like when you want to buy a new car, all of a sudden you see that car everywhere! When you speak things to yourself on a consistent daily basis, you're training your brain to look for and reinforce those thoughts. Many people's affirmations are something along the lines of, "I'm strong", I'm wealthy", I'm powerful", I'm happy," etc... Most research suggests that affirmations work best when doing them on a daily basis, even many suggesting you say them in the morning when your brain waves are more 'accepting" of this information, in a mirror, and consistently.
When I first learned about these, I laughed. I thought they were corny and stupid. However, having a degree in science, I am more likely to try something if it has some sort of legitimate research attached to it. I basically realized that your body hears what your mind tells it. You can not separate the physical from the mental. To illustrate this, think about when you're falling in love; you get butterflies in your stomach. When you get severely bad news; you get a knot in your stomach or a lump in your throat. Now your brain is constantly sending SUBconscious thoughts to your body, and a lot of times these are negative. You mess up at work, you call yourself stupid, you yell at your kids, you tell yourself you're a bad parent, etc. Affirmations can "reverse" those to an extent. A lot of these when beginning are faking it till you make it, (at least it was for me and sometimes still is). Choose 1-3 things you'd like to see a positive change in. For example, if you want to have more financial freedom, one of your affirmations you tell yourself daily is "I am rich," or "I am financially savvy." For me personally I just wanted to stop feeling anxiety about my daughters so one of my affirmations was "my daughters are happy, healthy, safe, and will live a long life."
2-Gratitude journal. I've been doing this for years now. Every morning or at bedtime, I write down at least 1 thing I am grateful for. On "bad" days it can be something as simple as "I had coffee in my cup this morning" to "I met Sam Hunt today," haha. I usually end up writing a few things, but to start off, one is fine. I need to emphasize the act of writing them down, with pencil or pen. Something about the connection your brain makes when your hand is handling a pen/pencil to paper makes it "stick" more.
3-Listening to motivational speeches or music. THIS one was a huge help for me, I think because it's someone else's voice. I would listen to them in the car while taking my daughters to school which was very beneficial for me because 1) My daughters heard it too and 2) Taking them to school in the morning was already a part of my routine so I didn't really have to make more time for it. I just searched positive speech or morning affirmations on YouTube and made myself listen to it in the car for at least 10 minutes. I often listened to the same speech for months. Some days, depending on your head space, certain parts of the speech you hadn't really paid attention to much before will land in your ear different. My favorite motivational speakers are Les Brown and Eric Thomas. One of my "positive thinking" songs was "The Remedy (I won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz
4-In addition to that, I started reading self help books. A few of my favorites that helped me change my outlook on life are:
- "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F**k" by Mark Manson - For people pleasers especially. He's basically explaining how to prioritize what you care about.
- "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" by Joe Dispenza - This was one of the first ones I read that really helped because he uses science to explain positive thinking and shifting your mindset. He even has a super interesting section explaining how prayer can work scientifically.
- "The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles" by Steven Pressfield. This book has shorter and more digestible chapters, talking about how to find inspiration to pursue your passions with a lot of stoic references. Only book that I read twice because it helped so much.
Try one or all of these for a couple weeks and notice the difference. You will have good and bad days, but you have the equipment in your head to overcome. Let me know what you think or if you have any questions on my social media, and I wish you happy thinking!